Held on Thursday, July 1, 2021
Instructor: Miho Hotta
(Professor, Faculty of Comprehensive Social Sciences, Kindai University)
After graduating Faculty of Human Sciences at Osaka University, she studied at Carleton Graduate Schools in Canada, where she obtained a Ph.D. in Psychology. After serving as a lecturer and associate professor at the Faculty of Arts and Letters at Kinki University, she assumed her current position in 2010. In addition to teaching courses such as "Social Psychology," she also provides assertiveness training as a director and certified instructor of the NPO Assertive Japan. Her major publications include "Assertiveness: Psychology Useful for Its Practice" (Nakanishiya Publishing, 2019) and "Contemporary Cultural Studies" (co-edited, Koyo Shobo, 2001).
I've read everyone's reflections, and I'm very encouraged and pleased to see that each of you picked out specific points from the lecture and applied them to your own daily communication. Please start by putting into practice small things, such as how to activate your communication switch, how anger reflects what you value and expect, rights in communication, how to select facts, and how to organize what you want. It may be difficult at first. But the fact that you've become aware of things you weren't aware of before is an important first step. You've climbed one step up the ladder. There may still be things you "can be aware of but can't do," but by trying, I believe you can climb to the step where you "can do it if you are aware," and then to the step where you "can do it without being aware."
By making small changes in your everyday lives, you can not only improve your own well-being, but also enable assertive communication in the various roles you will take on in the future, leading to more constructive progress. I believe this will benefit many people.
Instead of hoping someone else will change, you need to change yourself first. Be brave and take on the challenge.
Student impressions
- I tend to be passive in communication, often avoiding conflict and enduring things myself, which frequently led to stress. However, after listening to this lecture, I learned that asserting myself is also important. I also often couldn't refuse requests from others due to anxiety and worry about telling them, but hearing that "refusing" isn't about rejecting the other person, but about letting them know your boundaries, made me feel a little more at ease. I also realized that by changing how I communicate requests and suggestions, I can make them more likely to be listened to. From now on, I will try to incorporate the assertive communication methods and the "nothing to lose" approach I learned today, so that both myself and others can communicate comfortably.
- I used to be bad at communication. I often saw people asserting themselves and others getting upset, so I tended to be reserved in my assertiveness. As a result, I couldn't say what I wanted to say, which caused stress not only to myself but also to others. What I learned from this lecture is that the most important thing is to speak honestly with words. Even if I have different values from the other person, I want to make it a habit to acknowledge those differences and build an equal relationship. From now on, I want to make an effort to speak up with courage.
- After listening to this lecture, I decided I want to become more assertive myself. To that end, I will follow the "principle of small steps," as mentioned in the materials, and start with small things that I can do. Specifically, I will try to pay more attention to the changes in my own emotions and make an effort to understand myself better. Ultimately, I want to be able to clearly communicate what I want to say and also be considerate of the feelings of others.
- In my daily life, I often struggle to express my thoughts, point out others' mistakes, or share my opinions with those around me. The speaker emphasized "facing yourself before facing others," which inspired me to take a closer look at myself. I now understand that assertiveness is about communicating what you want to say in the way you want to say it, so I want to strive for more positive communication that is enjoyable for both myself and others. I want to consciously apply this principle to my life going forward, focusing on acknowledging differences and treating both myself and others as equals without blaming each other.
- I realized that everyone has their own way of thinking and values, and that I shouldn't judge others by my own standards. In the past, I often wondered why people would do things that I disliked, or I couldn't say things out loud because I knew it would damage the relationship. However, it's natural for people to have different ways of thinking, and it's also true that if you don't say it, your feelings won't be conveyed. From now on, I want to try to express my feelings without hiding them, and think about how to communicate in a way that the other person will accept comfortably, and I will gradually work on becoming more assertive. This lecture was a catalyst for changing my way of thinking, and I want to put into practice the specific ways of organizing my feelings that I learned. It was a very valuable opportunity to hear such insightful talks.